4 Long Seconds

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
Bar, Beer, Trips Leave a Comment

Bull RideMost work trips are long and boring, having recently finished a ten day trip there were a few moments of alcohol fueled fun. Beginning in Boston I dragged my party out to a few local bars. I don’t have high expectations for bars in foreign cities, but we managed to have a good time. Most notably at a dance-ish club I can’t recall the name of when a straight blonde girl attached herself to me.

Instantly, she revealed her life story, encouraged to share more by the beer in hand, we’ve all been there. Out of the blue, she asked if she could smell me…yes, smell me. Without permission her nose ran up my chest, with a compliment of how great I smell. Kudos to the company that makes my deodorant, I never wear cologne so it’s the only thing I can imagine her nose was picking up. She then rubbed my friend’s head and said he’s, “like a kitty,” it probably helps to know that he has no hair.

Two days later work had me in DC for a nonprofit conference. It must be because not profit people have to stress all day to raise money and are incredibly wound up, but when they cut loose they really go all out. Drinking with an individual I can’t name, we had beer, beer, shot, beer, shot and more beer. Then it was time to ride the mechanical bull. I was game for anything at this point, it took no encouragement to get me on the bull. My friend went first and then it was my turn. You have to pretty much sign your life away before you get on the bull, actually, only AT&T has a longer contact.

Acting in a way I’ve seen this done on television, I climbed on the slippery bull, gripped the rope and stuck a fist in the air. One, two, three – down. Hoping on one more time. One, two – down. The angry girl operating the bull was going from off to max, giving you no time to enjoy the ride. I did stay on longer than others, which I credit to some intense thigh strength (insert gay joke here). But it ended with one friend breaking a finger, another with bruises, apparently they don’t gt thrown around often. On a side note, I had a quickie with Late Night this morning which I feel really preps me for this sort of behavior.

Waiting for others to finish their rides, two giant straight guys came over, “You have to meet our friend, Mike.” I agreed, Mike wasn’t very attractive, so when an individual offered me a way out I took it and we quickly snuck out of the bar and across the street. Another shot, more beer and the night ended with me debating a girl on the street over who knows what. Based on the amount of alcohol ingested, I can’t believe there are any memories left from that night.

Long story short, this is the only thing that makes work bearable.