Emma Stone

7 Things That Happen After the First Date

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
Dating, List

1. You wait the obligatory 24 hours to say, ‘Hi.’ Then go insane wondering why they aren’t replying.

2. Your date eventually replies, but leaves a four hour gap between every text to truly drive you fucking insane.

3. Two days post date and you’re analyzing your entire existence. You were obviously wrong about how well the date went.

4. You begin anger drinking with friends and examining what a piece of shit your date really is/was.

5. You finally hear from your date who has a lame excuse for why he/she didn’t answer you on the phone that is always in his/her pocket.

6. You forget everything that has happened and eagerly wait for the next text.

7. The cycle begins again and you find yourself on OkCupid hoping your last date has been hit by a taxi and dumped in the East River.