It’s safe to say that I’m a little clumsy when it comes to dating. With Late Night things are off to a bit of a bumpy start, at least that’s my perception.
Accepting that I have a crush was the first hurdle. Why is this a hurdle? My life has revolved around work for the last three years. At the same time it’s been something of a mission to kill that part of the brain that every now and again urges to date/interact with others. It’s like putting all of this in reverse to attempt dating…if that’s even what’s going on here.
With all of this newness and change I feel nervous. Literally nervous to the point of being awkward and tongue-tied. Even in the bedroom there’s been some under-performing due to high nerves. Which is incredibly embarrassing and forced me to say something. When your who-ha isn’t acting the way it should, the other person is going to think it’s their fault. To curb this I had to share with Late Night that he gave me the nerves. He claims that it’s cute, but I’m grossed out by my behavior and thought pattern.
I think a portion of the problem is that we’re already kind of in a routine. I go over a few nights a week, fool around, sleep, wake up, go home and repeat. On a side note, this is why I’m not sure if this counts as dating as it could be an extended hookup. But my point, we’re not doing anything that allows that wall of nerves to breakdown. It’s a scenario where we’re reliving the same situation again and again. Not to complain, because it’s a good time. This means I have to come up with another way to relax and get out of my head.
Here goes nothin’.