Today was an interesting day. I finished an article that I had been asked to write for another blog. After proofing the piece and feeling a sense of accomplishment it suddenly seemed odd that I was being asked to write a piece for a national technology blog. When did I become a technology expert? This has been plaguing my mind as the sixth anniversary of my first book passed me by this week. I’m a fiction writer with a psychotic work ethic that has derailed personal goals in order to build a company that’s not mine.
This will not do. Corporate America is not for me… except for the paychecks they offer. That piece is definitely for me. In an effort to reconnect with the person other people somehow remember me being, I’ve made an effort to act as such. Last Thursday I went out with friends to a drag show. Friday was filled with beer and bar hopping. Saturday was a walk around the city followed by a visit to the bar. After all that – I’m tired! Damn I feel old. How is it that anyone can go out more than once a week and still function the next day? It’s not just 21 year old kids running around either, there are 45 year old men living this way. Could it be their gay gene is stronger than mine? Well, obviously. I’m on the lesbian side of that debate. But really, how are they keeping it up as they pass from bar to bar to bedroom to bar?
When Sunday rolled around and it was time for ‘Broadway Bares’ it was all I could do to bitch and moan. Literally, I spent the entire day bitching that I had to stay up until two! The show was definitely fun, and I got my fill of boob for the year, but that time on a Sunday is murder. That corporate part of my brain kept telling me: Work. Work. Work! It was all I could do to not back out and stay home to get ready for Monday. The newly formed republican personality that has been living in my head is so difficult when it comes to fun.
No matter how tired I am it is my goal to not allow this transition to continue. The fun must return and the boring straight personality that has taken over needs to be pushed back into the black box where it belongs. Maybe it’s time to date someone so there’s someone new to argue over things.