Bartender, We Have a Problem

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
All, Bar, Bull Shit, Dating Leave a Comment

Not everyone likes to drink. In fact, I hear, there are people who have never actually had alcohol pass over their lips and drive them to the magical place of exciting and questionable decisions.

I drink. This isn’t news. The issue is when people around me don’t drink. Specifically, the guy I’ve been palling around with lately. Cute, nice, etc. He shared with me last night that he “hates” drinking. This is not to say he won’t have a cocktail. I’ve witnessed him having a drink at dinner or the bar. Emphasis on the singularity of this drink. The Professor, as I am calling him due to his profession, only has one drink and is then happy to have water for the remainder of the evening.

Wait to judge my alcoholism until you fully understand why I found this so irritating.

My Irish liver can process its weight in booze if the occasion arises. As of late, I’ve only been having a bottle of wine on Friday after work. Yes, one whole bottle, all for me. This is because I’ve been hitting the gym hard and want to make additional progress. Booze does not equal abs. Instead of drinks on Friday, brunch on Saturday and day drinking on Sunday, I’ve cut it down to one little bottle a week. Factor in work stress during the week and no alcohol to heal the wounds, the Friday bottle is like a corked gift from Jesus himself. Praise the lord of wine!

When the Professor confessed he hated drinking, I did clap back…and it was probably a tad over dramatic. My response: This probably isn’t going to work. Yes, I went from normal to pissed in two seconds, but I’ve been down this path before. Last year, Douche Bag Dan dumped me via text message because I had happy hour with my Straight. I’m not interested in dating another sober who is going to start preaching to me about being an alcoholic. I hope to be an alcoholic someday, it looks like a ton of fun, but I’ve got a long way to go to reach my goal.

As usual, this is all circling my head as it’s a weekend and there is way too much free time for me to roll around in my thoughts. What I’m pondering: Do I chill the fuck out and see if the Professor is worth the effort? Or, do I end it now and never know? Either way, I can enjoy a bottle of wine, it’s just the second option comes with judgement eyes from across the table.