Date and Repeat

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
Break up, Bullseye, Dating, Google Guy Leave a Comment


How do we know when we like someone? Actually, the better question is, how do we know when someone likes us?

The question comes up now as another guy bites the dust. After a lap around the Met, Google Guy sat in silence while I gnawed on a bagel and sipped at boiling hot coffee. As we left he said,

“The past few weeks have been fun, but can’t continue.”
“Us?” I asked, making sure we were on the same topic.
“Yeah,” he replied.

Google Guy then gazed at me for a moment. Was he waiting for more? Should I throw the coffee and run?

“This is awkward,” Google Guy added.
“It’s fine, you’re just being honest.” Did that really come out of my mouth?

We departed, he for the train, me for the crepier two avenues over. Walking alone, I wondered why I didn’t have a bigger reaction. Google Guy wasn’t ‘the one,’ if that even exists, but is this what dating has boiled down to? We, and I’m generalizing the gay community from my own experiences, go on countless first dates with only a few that make it to a second. For those that make it to a second or third we then begin projecting huge expectations that always lead to disappointment. One person ends it and you arrive back at the beginning.

With this line of thinking I wonder if I am taking the wrong approach. Is it better to have a casual sexual relationship with someone you get along with, like Bullseye, knowing it will never go anywhere, or keep putting yourself through the cycle of date and repeat?

I don’t have the answer, but for now it’s back to the beginning and more first dates.

Kelly Clarkson says it in the perfect overly dramatic fashion here: