Being alone is difficult for some people. There’s the social stigma of being single which causes some to jump from one relationship to the next, never taking the time to get to know who they are as an individual. Now, it’s suggested a person should be comfortable being alone. Being comfortable as a single, means knowing yourself and what you want. This in turn, in theory, can help lead to more successful relationships.
I spent my twenties casually dating. As in, so casually, that it’s been a full decade since the last time I was involved in anything which came close to resembling an actual relationship. There were many reasons for following the single life path. I was in the middle of my education, at the beginning of a career, trying to establish a life in a new city, and so on. More or less, I told myself dating and relationships were something which could be dealt with later in life.
It’s later and I’ve ventured into the dating pool. The waters are murky and filled with dicks. Literal dicks. Have you been on any dating apps recently? Not only Grindr, but any dating app seems to be filled with well-groomed profiles and introductions by penis. Seeing another person’s junk is not the way I want to try and meet a potential significant other, but it’s nearly impossible to avoid. It’s not like in the pre-app days when you could meet someone at a bar. If you meet a guy in a bar, it’s almost a certainty that you’re going to hookup and never see one another after the fact.
We’ll skip over the boring details of meeting someone new, the short of things is that I met someone who appears to be nice, handsome, educated, following a career path. Great on paper. We’ve been on a handful of dates and are clicking, in my opinion. It’s the time after the dates which make me question the whole experience. I imagine I’m not alone, and perhaps it’s a side effect of being solo for so long.
After a date, I’ll come home, you have the mini high from a good time, then think, was it really worth all the effort? Instead of going out, getting ready, conversing, spending money, it would have been just as enjoyable, and significantly less expensive, to sit on the sofa and pet the cat. Then there is the whole need to create plans. When it comes to doing something I’m pretty mellow. Lunch? Sure. Coffee? Great. However, I live on a schedule. So, if I invite you to lunch and then it devolves into multiple text messages and time consumption, my brain shifts to, let’s skip it mode. Plans should be simple, right?
Perhaps these are all the normal interactions that take place in dating, but taking a big nap seems like a fantastic alternative to the effort required. Not ready to give up just yet, I’m attempting to not behave like a stubborn old man, and chill the fuck out. We’ll see how well it goes. Worst case scenario, there’s always Xanax and the puss to keep me company.