A man keeps calling my phone. He’s calling with questions about the past. It brings me great joy to tell, discuss and examine the pieces of my life…now. As a believer in don’t forget, don’t forgive, but move on with your life, I hesitate to talk to this man.
This man is about to get married. Actually, he is about to marry my father’s ex-wife. They have been divorced roughly ten years, and if you can do the math and notice the phrasing, she was clearly my stepmother. The relationship was bad to say the least. Though the seven year period in which they were married was filled with such unpleasantness that it is not an acceptable topic of discussion, I do credit the time with shaping me into the person I’ve become. Which I think is a positive, though some who have dated me would lean the other way.
Why is this man calling? On hiring a private investigator to learn about the woman that told him, “I am worth a two carat ring” after only two months, the strange man has uncovered bits of the truth. He learned that he would be husband number fourteen. He learned of excommunications from a church. He learned of affairs with men some twenty years younger, and the list goes on, only getting worse.
The man initially contacted my father, whom gave him some background but suggested he connect with me as much of the events throughout the marriage were centered upon myself. The reaction was not what I had thought it would be – uncertainty. Many years passed and I was convinced that if I just had the opportunity to express the disgust I feel towards this woman that all would be resolved. The opportunity, or as close as I’ll ever get, has now presented itself and it seems more damaging than necessary. Many of the memories have recessed so deep into my mind that I can’t recall them, though the true damage is that the good memories are gone as well.
Feeling an obligation to warn this strange, I forwarded his call to my mother. Though she was not directly in the line of fire, she witnessed from the sidelines and often stepped in to deal with the ongoing drama and problems. She shared an hour of horror stories that she said shocked and repulsed this poor individual. Then he confessed he was smitten by her beauty and she was like a drug. I highly doubt this man will take any warnings, and fully believe he will marry my father’s ex. I hope for his sake that his mental state is strong and that he has no children.