It Should be ‘Ese’-y

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
Bushwick, Dating Leave a Comment

Anal-EseWhere to begin. On another dating adventure, sponsored by the ever-popular OkCupid, I found myself out with a really nice guy. We had three mini-dates, all stifled by my schedule. During these short outings it provided an opportunity to get to know each other.

Now, what you really want to hear, my complaints from the mini-dates. People say things that don’t evolve into a discussion on dates or are even off-the-cuff that mean a lot. For example, Bushwick told me that he plans to leave the city some day. Well, I don’t. That means we couldn’t have a future as we are already heading down different paths. Buswick also wants kids. I’d rather contract herpes. Last, but not least, Bushwick is allergic to cats. I now have a pussy right here in my apartment ready to attack any nose that comes near me.

After this we went on a real date, again it went well, but there was this moment right at the end where things were a little off. I was commenting on the people walking by, mainly being a cunt. Bushwick said, “You’re very interested in people that have nothing to do with us.” The comment was associated with a facial reaction. Perhaps he just wanted my attention but I believe this to be disapproval. Not that it matters, but if you don’t like my comments you’re really screwed.

Then we made plans for another date. Bushwick wanted to come over and hang at my place. Gay Translation: He wanted to stick whatever he had in what I have. I’ve never slept with a black guy so I decided to assume all size rumors to be true and ventured out with the Russian and Larrymore to secure some anal-ese. Let me just say this stuff tastes delicious, I ate a decent amount in the name of testing, but really it only gives a numb tingle for a few minutes. Not enough for black penis insertion. So when Bushwick pulled out a monster penis there wasn’t enough numbing cream in the world to move things along. He literally scared the boner off of me. Be it to say there was no sex, just sleep.

The moment he left the next morning my brain kicked into boy mode. All I wanted him to do was treat me like crap and stop being attentive and sweet. I’m not up for being called “sweetheart” or any other pet name. We are supposed to grab coffee Thursday, but I’m unsure of where this can go…if anywhere.

B knows what I’m talking about.