Having a bit of a head cold it would be easy to cancel a date. Instead, I kept my date with Bushwick and met for coffee. As a germaphobe I do my best not to touch or be touched when sick, it’s only polite. So, a mini-date was instantly distant and awkward with touching off the table…just the way I prefer.
Sitting with Bushwick he made a comment about liking to know if he was on the same path as someone at this point. No answer was provided from me. Obviously, I walked away with the idea. We’re not on the same path. He is ready to head down the happy trail of love and probably marriage. I really just want someone to hangout with occasionally and hookup now and then and cause no intrusion upon my life. Why have I not been hanging around Late Night more?
This made me think of the saying: It’s not you, it’s me. I consider this to be a lie others tell you to try and bow out gracefully when they’re bored of dating. I could reverse it and say: It’s not me, it’s you. This still isn’t right. I think it’s just neither of us and both of us. Meaning, I should just go enjoy the company of my friends around a bottle of wine, while Bushwick should keep hunting for the guy that will swoon when he gives him compliments.
We are at the point where I must either end things or it’s going to be an epic disaster that blows up in my face. Bushwick and I could actually downgrade to friends, except for he doesn’t enjoy drinking more than one glass of wine and would never enjoy any of my extracurricular activities. I also think it’s better to end things in person, but that means I’m making Bushwick come all the way into the city with what will appear to be a date. This could come off as being a double douche bag…or I could do it by text. There’s apparently no right way to do this, especially since I get the sense I’m only engaging to observe a date-type-guy in his natural habitat. After all, every experience is research for a new book.