In the past week, I’ve realized somewhere along the way I’ve undergone a major change. Let me explain by giving some background…which you probably won’t need if you’ve read the older posts. All of my twenties were spent under the exhausting fear that I might miss out on something. I was the go-to friend if you needed someone to hit a bar, party, have a drink, go to a museum or just wander the city. Yes was always the response, even if it meant skipping meals to have the cash to pay for drinks. Looking back, it was a great time, wouldn’t change anything and I rarely missed out on anything.
The last time I can honestly recall this feeling was near the end of 2015. As I was beginning my Puerto Rican adventure, I worried that being away for six months would mean missed friend brunches and fun experiences. Fast forward to the present, specifically this morning and last night. This morning, I woke to a few text messages from a friend saying he and another friend were nearby and going to the club. It was only midnight, but I was fast asleep and dead to the world. Yes, on a Saturday, I was asleep well before midnight. And last night, my Straights shared that they are heading to NYC in two weeks for the weekend, asking if I would like to join them. I of course would, but I have two February trips planned, and I was in NYC last weekend. The expense isn’t worth the fun.
So, where along the way did I trade in my FOMO for the joy of saving money and sipping a glass of wine on the sofa alone? Truly, no idea, but I do think it stems from my NYC departure. My temporary move turned permanent and I’ll be in Puerto Rico for at least five more years. The distance between the friends who didn’t turn tail and the fact that I was spending large amounts of time isolated to myself seems to have caused a shift. I still like going out, but only for happy hour, and even then I’m not completely disappointed if I’m alone in this activity. Friends are great, but no longer required.
If this is how my thirties will play out, it’s going to make for some very boring books and blogs, but a lot of self-made excitement. Can’t wait!