Grow Up

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
All, Moving, Opinion Leave a Comment

The gay agenda. It’s one of those buzz phrases you hear thrown around in what are touted as news worthy reports and articles. I have no idea what gay agenda the media and conservatives think is being shuffled around, but I do know what my agenda is, gay or otherwise.

My twenties were all about pushing my agenda. Doing things the most difficult way possible, to ensure I was doing exactly what I wanted. So, pretty much behaving like very other twenty year old in the country. I can’t say on the planet as I get the impression that the twenty-somethings aren’t as psychotic in other countries.

Now, well into my thirties, the agenda is shifting. I am very aware of this as I’m in the process of buying a condo. Not an unusual thing for a person to do, but an unusual thing in this time and place. I’m still in Puerto Rico, after what was meant to be a six month stay to avoid winter. Six has become twelve and now one year is looking more like five.

If all goes to plan and I purchase said condo, then getting a second place in New York, home, will be pushed out at least five years. The thought of delaying my return is a bit terrifying as New York is my safety touchstone. At the same time, it’s freeing to be away and have no obligations. No one in Puerto Rico gives a single fuck about me or what I do. In New York, everyone, literally everyone, interjects themselves into your business.

I jot these thoughts down as it seems as though I’m living in a parallel universe, some alternate me that is observing a life that doesn’t exist. But, pen to virtual paper makes it a little more real. Now, if things fall apart and the bank rejects me and holds the condo hostage I’ll definitely suffer the wrath of disappointment. Puerto Rico has helped me raise my hopes. Now will it dash them and send me packing?

On the upside, if the condo happens my friends in the states will not have to deal with a house warming party and present. Everyone wins.