I would say I fall into this category, and not necessarily for lack of trying, but mostly for lack of caring. In our present day, I am involved with a gentleman and it has been about six months. I credit the short lived longevity to our living situation. Banana lives in Minnesota…or Michigan…I have a hard time with the Upper Midwest. I live in Puerto Rico. We very rarely see each other and a majority of our communication takes place via text message. This is not a complaint, I love my space and it’s really the best of both worlds.
Now, Banana has a way of pissing me off. It’s usually when he tells me not to say something or overreacts [in my opinion] to something I say. If you’ve ever read anything I’ve penned or met me in person, you know the fastest way to hear things from me you don’t like is by telling me I can’t say something. What really sets me off is he prides himself on having an edgy tongue. I can’t recall his exact phrasing, but he has referenced how people get “offended” by him but it’s their problem. I’m not a fan of the double standard being imposed here.
This then got me to thinking on how I’m reacting. Am I overreacting? Am I trying to vilify him in the narrative? I think the answer may be yes, even if it’s only taking place in my subconscious. In my stories, and dating, there is always a villain. Generally, it’s the other person. It only occurred that I may be the villain the other day when Banana mentioned he was handing over all authoritative power in the relationship to me. Probably the most romantic thing you could say to someone like me, but it makes you wonder why a person would have to say such a thing.
As a single person of eleven years, excluding the past six month and the casual flings along the way, am I too good at being single? Too good in a way that the only way to coexist with me is in a work-style exchange where it is my way or no way? It’s something to think about. That, or perhaps we’re both villains in our own right.