Open Bar

I Do Until I Don’t

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
B1, Friends, Trips Leave a Comment

Open BarThis past weekend my friend, B1, invited me to her hometown in Maryland for a wedding. I agreed, grabbed a new blazer and tie for the occasion and made my way by bus to the state which is generally only on my radar for work.

Having never been to a wedding in my adult life or a Catholic Mass (ever) this was a dual immersive experience. The pretty little church in the center of a quaint town provided an ideal setting for the wedding. The rituals of the Mass were a bit of a surprise as I’ve attended a church before, but never needed to say more than the occasional “amen.” There were a few things about the event which struck me.

First: I’ve never noticed how incredibly misogynistic the Bible is – definitely written by men for men. Everything about the marriage speech favors the husband and more or less makes the woman sound as though she should be pleased to do his bidding and popping out kids. They could really speed things up by having God impregnate the brides at the altar with an express baby delivering as you leave, combining the wedding and birth to completely cut out the hospital middlemen.

Second: After listening to the Mass (Should that be capitalized? I’d probably know if I attended a church.) everything felt fictional. The requests for blessings and those blessings promised by the Priest’s completion of this ritual. Honestly, I walked away from the experience thinking perhaps it’s time to pick a side on the God topic, leaning towards the Atheist side of things. Faith in anything is difficult, but I find it difficult to believe in a book created by men to suit their whims and passing it off as the word of a God. Also, if there is a God it seems he/she would have far greater things to do than listen to the prayers of people or worry about marriages, etc. If you created everything, wouldn’t it be much more likely you’re still out there creating new things?

Opinions aside, the party after the wedding was amazing. B1’s friends from her teenage life were in attendance and we had a great time. Drinks and dancing until there was nothing left to drink. Literally, we closed an open bar before heading to B1’s parent’s house. It was my hope to make a great first impression. Instead, so drunk I threw up three times and had to look at the floor while we talked I wished to be dead. Once the parents hit the sack I started feeling better and we had a pool party in the basement. It was only the next day I could apologize for being a crazy lush, which was well received and will permit me coming for another visit.

The short of it, I see the value of the post wedding party, can’t fathom why people get married, am wondering if God could possibly exist, and still haven’t learned to avoid an open bar or a pool.