In Your Mouth

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
All, Fitness, Friends, Holiday Leave a Comment

I noticed on social media a lot of the people I’m connected to bitching about New Year’s Eve. I’m not one for resolutions, I don’t care enough to make any, but I’m surprised how many people complain about one of the few fun “holidays” where you aren’t required to buy anything for anyone.

I find NYE rather enjoyable. Even when I nearly kill myself via consumption. You see, when I came home to Puerto Rico from Baltimore a few months ago, I felt really disgusting. While away, there wasn’t much ability for exercise, other than an occasional run. Add ten days of being sick, cold temperatures, and drinking/eating way, way too much. #Bad

Unlike a NYE resolution, I came home and decided to have a fitness overhaul. Motivation isn’t an issue, I do like the gym, as long as there are no other people. Group workouts and people are the worst. Anyway, hitting the gym hard wasn’t enough, I needed to dial the alcohol consumption down. Which I did.

So, on NYE I didn’t start drinking with friends until after 7:00 PM. Knowing we would probably go out after midnight, I wanted to hang and not die. Things were off to a good start, until I switched from wine to vodka. Well, the switch wasn’t the issue, as I didn’t want a wine hangover. Who needs that kind of head pain in the morning. A friend made my second and third vodka based drinks…which was pretty much vodka with a splash of soda. Add a midnight champagne toast for good measure. #Drunk

I was feeling really good when bar time arrived. I failed to share with the group I get terribly car sick when alcohol is in my blood. I can get nauseous on a good car ride, add booze and it can be deadly. Fun fact, I have puked down someone’s dress in a cab. But that was a solid twelve years ago. Luckily the ride was short, but the damage was already done. Entering the bar, we reached the back and there was a lurching of my stomach. Rather than puke on some poor soul’s shoes I rushed outside. Now, Old San Juan is rather densely populated with buildings and people during holiday time. Being classy, I wasn’t about to vomit in front of strangers. Somehow, I managed to walk over a mile home and explode in the comfort of my bathroom. #Death

The next morning, feeling properly wretched, I forced myself to at least do the day’s cardio. Considering I’d been so bad the night before, I needed to punish myself. Oh, did I suffer. Twenty minutes into the run, vomit found me once more. Being mid run, there was nothing to do but mouth vomit and swallow. So, so wretched.

Why share this rather disgusting tale? Because this is proof that even as we age we’re really just tired versions of our young messy selves. Feliz Año Nuevo!