In the eighth grade my class went on a field trip to an Eye Surgery Center. Why? Because it was the goal of my school to scare the hell out of me. On a screen we watched a laser correction surgery and then a cataract removal procedure. Horrifying is the only word I can use to describe what I witnessed. So much did this scare me that I swore to never have laser surgery, mind you I wore contacts at that time.
All these years later I decided to go in for a consultation. It’s been nearly two decades since I saw what looked like medieval torture, time had to advance the way the procedure was done. Right? Long story short, I decided to have them zap my eyes.
Going into the office I was terrified. So much so, they provided me a delicious little Valium to help calm the nerves. After I was provided the blue pill everyone else in the office started confessing their own fear. Coincidence? When the procedure actually started gearing up the technician gave me a teddy bear and a blanket. These are comforts to children and adults alike. I nearly strangled that poor little bear while on my back.
Was it painful? That’s what you want to know. There are two lasers you have shot into each eye. The first is accompanied by a soft rubber ring that sits on your eye. You feel a little pressure and then everything goes pitch black. The doctor warns you in advance, but it still got my heart racing. I assumed something went wrong and I was blind. But as the doctor counts back from ten your vision returns and you see blurred light. The next laser is a little louder as you hear the computer running and there is a smell which I believe is your eye being burned. Overall, really no pain, mostly just stress and anxiety.
You’re under the lasers for only a few moments. Then your eyes have two large, plastic things taped over them which you must wear until the next day. You wait in a dark room for someone to pick you up. My friend, Larrymore, was kind enough to walk me home, and thank god because you really can’t see a thing.
Fast forward twelve hours and you wake up from pill induced sleep, pull off the face mask and see. It sounds ridiculous, but you wake up and can see. The clock isn’t blurry, there’s no searching for glasses – it’s amazing. It was worth every penny and all of the fear.