Merry Christmas: Go to Hell

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
Opinion Leave a Comment

Santa Claus and His Old LadyEach year I grow to like the holidays, especially Christmas, less and less. You might think this stems from some sort of tragic childhood experience, but in fact, Christmas was always pretty spectacular when I was little. The presents were always wrapped up in such a way that even a little looked like a lot. There was tons of paper, ribbons and bows on everything. Come to think of it, take all that, throw in a bar and some queens and we have a brand new drag show.

But my current distaste for Christmas comes from how we treat the holiday today. I’m all for the secular version that has nothing to do with religion. As adorable as baby Jesus probably was, I highly doubt he would be thrilled over us giving each other gifts instead of burning sacrificial lambs in his honor. Assuming he exists, but that’s a different debate.

Start with Facebook and every other social network. A few people post photos of their families which seems appropriate. The majority take the opportunity to shove more selfies down our throats and rub their overpriced gifts in your face. Feel that holiday spirit. The other half take photos of feasts that could feed a small country and in a week  post how they are making a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and wish they hadn’t been such a pig during the holidays. To them I say, save us all from you, don’t waste the money on a gym membership and just hold out until February when your guilt will subside.

Then you go to Starbucks, or any other retail location, and like the barista today, they have to stop themselves from saying ‘Merry Christmas’ because it could offend someone. Instead they are forced to say ‘Happy Holidays’ to ensure that everyone is satisfied and there is no room for backlash to the company because a person that doesn’t celebrate Christmas was in the wrong place at the wrong time. On another tangent, why does no one get made if you wish them Happy Hanukkah instead of Happy Holidays? Just a thought.

I do give credit to the few people I know that actually take this time to visit their families. But as I continue to be disenchanted with all of the holidays, I can always count on the bars to be open to assist in ensuring people like myself have a reprieve from the rest of the world. Merry Christmas.