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Recently I had the opportunity to pick any old topic on which to write a thesis paper. Dating was an easy choice as there is so much going on all around me when it comes to dating. Friends provided me all the feedback and data needed without even being solicited. We’re all a little on the gossipy side.
The official topic/question: Are dating apps and websites encouraging individuals to endlessly seek first dates in an effort to find something better?
As you probably have noticed with the relationship between smart phone and user becoming evermore entangled, almost all dating is taking place via app. From hookup to hangout, everything you can possibly want is available at the tap of a screen. And with every tap you can find a seemingly endless supply of people.
Smiling faces, clever headlines and then there are all of your left swipes.
What I found to be at least partially true after a month of observing friends using dating apps is that we all seem to be unwilling to settle down, even if the person is exactly what we claim to be looking for. The spectrum of daters ranges from the causal, once-in-a-while person, to the three dates a week person. The personalities range from skeptical and bitter to overly eager and ready to wed.
I’m terming all of this micro-dating. As we individually continue to invest more time into dating apps the number of dates rises accordingly, but the number of repeat dates declines. Meaning we are truly becoming a one and done society where a relationship lasting long-term is beginning to sound like the stuff of fiction that only takes place on television and in books.
A few hard facts you may enjoy from my research: The odds are in favor of the men. There are just more ladies out there, meaning it’s easier to be a playboy. If you’re using a gay dating app the odds of you finding “the one” are slim as hookups are too easy and too common. Your best bet to find love on a dating app is to have low standards and accept the occasional date. The less you date the better your chances of making something work. Go figure.
Of course, you can argue all of this any which way, but it did encourage me to remove any of the hook up apps from my phone and keep only OkCupid. I mean, if I can’t research and torture myself a little, what’s the point?