New Year. New Urine.

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
All, Bar, Friends, Holiday, Straights Leave a Comment

ApologyNew Year’s Eve is always a fun and crazy time. This year my friends all made the decision to stay in and drink at our Straights’ house. This meant no crowds, no lines and no bar tabs!

Being the wino that I am, I arrived three or so hours before the Russian and Larrymore. This provided my Straights and I time to work through the first few bottles of wine and begin snacking. Though, I must admit we weren’t bombed when everyone else arrived later that evening…which is a small miracle.

The remainder of the night brought on more wine, Cards Against Humanity and crepes. How I love crepes. Having bought myself the crepe maker and mix for Christmas this was my first attempt making a batch and I think we can successfully say everyone enjoyed.

After the ball dropped and kisses were exchanged it was time to make my way home. Arriving somewhere around two in the morning, there were three people standing in my hallway. I passed by going inside to order GrubHub and start working on the upcoming hangover. Then the yelling started in the hallway. A few minutes later I was in the hallway screaming at the three people. Something along the lines of, ‘Take it inside, take it outside, just shut the fuck up.” *Door Slam*

Twenty minutes later a knock at the door and the neighbor I had just verbally attacked was asking for the management building’s number. She and her two friends happened to be locked out, which is why they were fighting in the hallway. Feeling bad, because I’ve been there more than once, I let them come in to wait for the locksmith.

Four hours later as we stood with the locksmith, his drill burning through the door across the hall, I noticed the one male friend in this group of twenty-three-year-old kids was in my room. I looked away for a moment and then he was stumbling toward me. Door open, kids out and me back to myself, I stripped down and made my way to bed.

Flicking on the bedroom light, there was a glimmering puddle on the floor. Did the cat pee on the floor? This was my first thought, but I’ve never heard of a cat doing so, also, the amount of urine was so much it couldn’t have been the cat. Then it clicked. That kid stood up and pissed on the floor.

We’ve all been trashy drunk, but this is a whole new level of disgusting. I’m not sure if it’s a lack of manners or tact, but my feelings on the younger twenty-somethings and kids from Long Island are officially in the toilet.

Minus the urine we had a great New Year’s. And with my neighborly good deed done for the year, I have three-hundred plus days to be wicked and selfish.