Last night, after many drinks and some delicious food, I sat with my friend and discussed whatever it is Late Night and I are doing. It’s beginning to look as though I’ve unknowingly stumbled into a new type of game, without any knowledge of the rules. Advice I was given: get out while you can.
What’s different about this from earlier “dating” situations is that Late Night said we were just having fun. As previously blogged, I can go along with this as long as the lines are clear. Late Night keeps blurring them; asking if I miss him, pinging me on Grindr, etc. But the ultimate mixed message came two days ago when he was making jest about me being in Baltimore for three weeks. When I complained I’ll be bored there with nothing to do besides work, he said, “Maybe not nothing but perhaps someone.”
Because I have to analyze everything it pushes me to think two things. 1) Late Night is sleeping with other people and wants to make sure I am so that we’re even. 2) Late Night is trying to make sure I’m not getting attached by reminding me of my “freedom.” Not that I can be mad, we’re not dating so all of this is fair, but it’s sort of like emotional, or at least mental, terrorism. I’d rather have someone toss me aside to do as they please with others than drag it out with the false impression that there might be something there.
Now at a crossroad, I can either get off the ride or pick up the rule book and start playing along.