Hate Dating

Relationship Intolerance

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
All 2 Comments

Hate DatingBeginning in the sixth grade (it may be younger now) we are told to practice safe sex. Then the adults tell you that sex is only meant to happen between married couples. Where does that leave people like me? There’s no marriage in sight and for the time being it’s illegal and not something I have to worry about avoiding. On the other hand, I have a relationship intolerance that makes it impossible to stay with someone – less they succumb to the pressure of a pillow pressed against their face.

So, as a perma-single, I and many others have a little predicament. Either we give in and get on the relationship wagon, or we allow society to classify us as sluts and whores. Well bring on the labels because there’s no surrender happening here! Not that this is such a new revelation but over the last several months I have been reevaluating my views on sex and dating. One is always sucking me into the other. This led to disasters such as the Devil, Dollar and many other less than desirable candidates.

As a gay in today’s society we know that sex comes before the relationship. The smart thing to do is establish rules, mostly because I love them, around the sex in order to prevent any relationship from forming. The first thing is to never bring the fling home. No matter what, anything that happens must occur at their place, unless you’re really crazy and want to get it on outside. Living in the city it’s not as easy to do this considering most of us don’t drive cars. The second is making a quick escape as soon as everything has come to a climactic end. This is then followed by absolutely nothing. Other than a few random texts for personal entertainment purposes there are no repeat visits.

There’s just one other detail you may be left wondering about – love. Where does it fit into this equation? It doesn’t. In fact, if that’s you’re interest I can’t relate to you and probably have damaged you by sharing what I have. If you’re in it for love I suggest you buy some country albums and curl up in front of Netflix each night to shuffle through the drama category.

Love is for the optimistic. Sex isn’t just for the relationship oriented. Last but not least, whores and sluts do have more fun – they just need better titles. The Bible really ruined that one for everyone.

Comments 2

  1. Sex has a fascinating etymology; its meaning is tied to literal function of recognizing sex organs as different. Quite simply, man has a penis, a woman has a vagina. In its verb form, man and woman come together with dissimilar organs for the purpose of breeding. Men and women have sex, literal coitus, homosexuals are sodomites. Now, understand this is not a judgment, merely a parsing of language, the linguistic form as it were. Schooling aside, safe sex in its vernacular form is always a good thing.

    I don’t know how many times we have addressed this issue, but a relationship consists of several conditions. When possible, a dyad can manifest in such a way that there is commitment. Humans refer to this as friendship. Secondly, sometimes committed friends develop lust for each other. When a commitment of friendship is preferred over lust that might arise, this is a fledging encounter with passion, often dissipating. The third, and likely an important binder with respect to establishing a consummate relationship, would be, intimacies, specifically with regards to long-term care i.e., care that has a functional end.

    Likely, as I have always suspected, you lack a component that allows for enduring intimacies, perhaps having to do with a malformed idea that one’s reaction towards a person in one’s bed is somehow always supposed to be static, forgetting that we usually quarrel with those that are in our relative proximity, especially those that endure specific periods of time.

    You take pleasure in assuming you lack a capacity to love, forgetting that love isn’t some mysticism, but exactly what I have diagramed in my previous paragraph. A consummate relationship allows for love, it is the deprivation or eradication of the conditions mentioned, that determine when love ends. No optimism or pessimism is necessary to engage or disengage a potential romantic happening.

    Finally, to think that a whore or slut somehow benefits from some promiscuous ideology— is an absentminded and dangerous conclusion, given that one of our greatest determinants in figuring out who we are is the choice we make when we decide who to sleep with. I forget which person the quote is attributed to, but to paraphrase: show me a man’s lust and I will tell you his character.

    I tried to be brief, I love you and miss your face, learn to stop and talk when you walk past me at 2am.