After the family “bonding” crashed and burned I shared the last blog, #WhiteTrashForever. Of course, this sent my sister off a cliff. I removed her comments from Facebook and didn’t approve her comment on the blog post. The reason: It perpetuates the drama.. And, really, what’s the point?
But her last Facebook comment, “The truth hurts, doesn’t it,” got me to thinking. Truth in this situation appears to be something everyone has their own version of and now you can be the judge. To illustrate this point, I am sharing the blog comment my sister made, bad grammar and all.
“I didn’t even care about the cigarettes first of all and secondly you made damn sure that me and Jeremy had nothing to do with the funeral we was calling and texting you asking if you needed help with anything time and time again you denied our assistance and when we did go through her things who got 90% of her things your stepmother father and yourself that’s who the hours we spent on the phone talking you know my reason for the animosity towards our mother or should I say now your mother and knowing all of that your intentions were still to make the trip about her not us siblings mind you the only thing I really wanted was Kevin’s ashes and yes as a big sister I did tell you to lighten up on your destructive ways and yeah I’m hurt that you were so selfish that you couldn’t even let me or Jeremy know when you spread her ashes.”
Let’s go through her statement.
Cigarettes: True, she didn’t make a big deal about losing them. Larrymore and I volunteered to go back into the bar and find them. They are expensive after all.
Funeral: True, I didn’t engage my siblings to help with the funeral. Also true, my sister did text me once and ask if I needed anything. She also asked once if I needed cash. I declined her offer because in reality I have more money and thought her cash would be better spent in other ways. This was a mistake. She recently explained how her seven thousand dollar tax return was spent: Shopping spree. I’d happily be reimbursed for the thousands of dollars spent. False: Our brother never offered to help in any way.
Belongings: My sister took our mother’s laptop out of the apartment without anyone knowing. Because it happened secretively it makes you look guilty. Why not ask to have it? Also, all medications vanished from the bathroom. I assume she took them considering she was “cleaning” out the bathroom where prescriptions sat. I didn’t see it take place, but it’s a safe assumption.
My dad was nice enough to bring his trailer down to clean out the apartment, which we did load with 90% of our mom’s belongings. And that night we dropped it all off at the Goodwill. My sister did become interested in our mother again two weeks ago when she realized a leather jacket was still out there that she likes. Greedy to the end.
Animosity: My sister hates our mother. She always has. Mainly because they are so alike. They both created and drug on years of drama. It was a waste of their time and sadly it sounds like my sister will spend her entire life dwelling on something a dead person did/said to her. Not my problem, nor concern.
Ashes: When cleaning out our mother’s apartment I told my siblings in two days I’d be spreading the ashes on her father’s grave as requested and bringing a small amount to spread in Brooklyn. Neither mentioned any interest in attending. They were also informed of this again at her wake 24 hours before the spreading. I don’t feel any need to consider their feelings – no one has worried about mine.
Trip: A few weeks back I mentioned spreading the ashes under the BK bridge and my sister expressed an interest in seeing the place. So, on the only day of the trip I took she and the kids out to Brooklyn. They complained the entire time about walking and had no interest once we reached the park. A waste of my time and theirs apparently.
Hurt: My sister will probably tell her story to a thousand people for sympathy and now I can take our mother’s place as the villain of her life. I’ll continue to go about my “destructive ways” which will result in new books, great blogs and a fulfilling life free of regrets.