We Can’t Go Back

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
Bar, Brooklyn, Roomie Leave a Comment

TattoosThe last five years in New York have been eventful to say the least. And I’ve done my best to document all the ups and downs right here. But the last few days have reminded me of the days before New York and even those first few months in the city.

My former Roomie flew in for a visit and we spent a long weekend trying to relive the carefree fun we once enjoyed. A little background. My Roomie (to be used in present tense even though we no longer live together) and I met about seven years ago in Utah where we worked as retail managers. One year later I moved to New York to follow my dreams as they were too big for Park City, Utah. Three months after arriving in the real world, my Roomie and I began having conversations about her moving here. It didn’t take much convincing for her to pack up and leave Mormonville.

The first year of this blog documents many of our misadventures and I point this out as it’s easy to mix one person up with another when we are using nicknames. At that point we were both single, working crap jobs that sucked the energy out of us and child free. Fast forward half a decade and my Roomie and I both have great jobs, have socioeconomically moved forward in life and are stable. The part that is a bit mind-blowing: My Roomie has two children and is stuck in a painful relationship with the baby daddy. Oh, and she has lived back in Utah for the past two years. Ask either of us to predict the future five years ago and I doubt we would have said this is where we were headed.

So this trip was about remembering what life was like at 22 and how much fun we had together. For the most part we did a heck of a job. Four nights of drunken giggles, one night of dancing and new tattoos for both of us. That led to today when I had to put Roomie in a cab to JFK. As she vanished into traffic I was reminded how how much time and space is between me and all the people of my former life. Generally, not sentimental, but in this moment I wondered what it would be life if I was still out there. And as time keeps pushing all of us forward, I wonder how long before all of our visits stop and the most contact we have is the occasional post on Facebook. The reality is as time builds between all of us we’ve developed new lives and new friendships and it is getting to the point where we no longer fit together, there are no more inside jokes and we don’t know each other.

Another five years may be like a nail in the coffin for many of my friendships. But this visit was a great reminder of who we were and who we are now. Too bad tomorrow it’s back to business as usual.