You Have Zero Friends

R.B. Winters
R.B. Winters
All, Birthday, Friends, Roomie Leave a Comment

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In the mess of the last two months, you know, hurricane stuff, blogging has fallen to the bottom of the priority list. But as I sit with a head cold at my desk, it seems like the easier focus than real work. So, a tale we shall have!

My birthday managed to fall directly between Hurricane Irma and Hurricane Maria. For this birthday of no real notable age, a friend made the decision to keep her planned trip. You may recall Lacee (aka Roomie) from older blogs and a few tales within books.

Quick recap if you don’t know of Lacee: We were roomies in Brooklyn, then we weren’t, then we hated each other, then we were friends, then she had babies. There’s twelve years of life in one sentence. Impressed?

In our adult years [the thirties], we are lazy as all hell. In the best way. We sit on the sofa, eat and watch Netflix. It’s pretty fantastic. No adventures or obligations. Just sitting and chatting. Well, bitching more than chatting.

Now, I have been living in Puerto Rico for some time and this was to be Lacee’s second visit, so I wanted to utilize the opportunity for friend gain. I planned a little birthday party for myself and invited the few friends I’ve managed to collect. You see, several of my new friends are friends of a friend who left Puerto Rico to make it in Brooklyn. We pretty much have traded living situations at this point. A party is a good way to get drunk and bond.

To accommodate schedules things were planned for 4:00 PM. Now, I know enough to be aware no one in PR is ever on time. I assumed people would begin to appear around the hour late mark. When we arrived at the two hour late mark I was losing hope. Literally, I felt like the biggest loser and was pretty sure Lacee and I would have to venture out to a bar to lick my wounds.

I’m a lovable cactus, how could no one show up?

As we approached the three hour mark and were prepping to pack it in, the guests FINALLY started to arrive. Who the hell comes three hours after a party commences? If you know me, which this group kind of does, you know I’ll be tanked by then and most the booze will be gone. Alas, it all turned out for the best.

We all had a lovely time, or at least that’s how I remember things. Like I said, so many drinks in me. I do believe it was a solid step towards locking in some of these friendships. And Lacee was the perfect co-host. Once I was too lazy to continue a conversation I could hand people off. Perfect.

Next time I know to tell people we start at one if I want them to show up by four. Lesson learned. To the next (Lacee) visit!